Last Saturday (06 Feb 10), went to Ying Jie’s 21st bday. I met Ying Jie 15+ years ago in my drama club. We used to be very close sisters back then.

Met Jinxuan and xiaojun at Bugis and we went down to pebble bay. I enjoyed the music by the live band D’fusion. I only left the party around 1115pm. Luckily, there was still train service back home.

I went home with kinda heavy heart because of what I saw. I kept asking God what I can do. I felt weak and useless. There wasn’t anything I can do. As I asked God, tears started to flow out.

Yesterday during service’s pnw, I broke down again. I told God “God, you know my situation. God, I need more courage from you. Tell me what I can do, teach and show me the way you want me to go. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.”

 

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A song I want to share, sung by Building 429. I was playing the songs from my computer in the shuffle mode and then I heard this song.

No One Else Knows

My world is closing in
On the inside
But I’m not showing it
When all I am is crying out
I hold it in and fake a smile
Still I’m broken
I’m broken
Only one can understand
And only one can hold the hand
Of the broken
Of the broken

When no one else knows how I feel
Your love for me is proven real
When no one else cares where I’ve been
You run to me with outstretched hands
And You hold me in your arms
Again

I need no explanation of why me
I just need confirmation
Only You could understand the emptiness inside my head
I am falling
I am falling
I’m falling down upon my knees
To find the one who gives me peace
I am flying
Lord I am flying

When no one else knows how I feel
Your love for me is proven real
When no one else cares where I’ve been
You run to me with outstretched hands
And You hold me in Your arms
Again

I have come to you in search of faith
Cause I can’t see beyond this place
Oh You are God and I am man
So I’ll leave it in Your hands

A question that I’m asking myself and still seeking for the answer. What have I become? I just want to solve the conflicts that’s within my heart.

Yes, Christmas is coming and I’ve remodified the previous christmas-themed blog designs for this year’s. Last year, I came out with two versions of christmas blog design. The first version was Santa Goes HoHoHo! and the second one was Christmas is coming.

And now for this year’s design, it is called “Christmas Star“.

If you compare this design with the previous ones, I’m still using the same background picture with the hills and mountains.

Let me explain why is it called Christmas Star. Do you know what is true meaning behind Christmas? Have you wonder why we have Christmas day every year?

Christmas is an annual holiday celebrated on December 25 that commemorates the birth of Jesus of Nazareth. According to the bible, Jesus was born in the city of Bethlehem- in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. I wanted to design something like a manger  but it looks like a house instead

The Star of Bethlehem, also called the Christmas Star, is a star that revealed the birth of Jesus to wise men, and led them to Bethlehem. The sparkles above the chimney of the house represent the star and the men walking towards the house represent the wise men.

Then, I inserted a box for my tweets and placed a christmas hat icon on the box.

I’m still thinking of the design for my e-postcard. You can take a look at my past e-postcard design.

Last Sunday, 22 November, woke up early in the morning for the charity run at ECP. The night before, I went to LiPing’s house to stay over – supper-ED and tv-ED. We slept around 12+am and woke up around 530am to have our 2.5 sausages with one piece of cheese as breakfast. Headed down to Tampines to meet the rest, cabbed down to ECP.

The taxi uncle really pissed me off. I think he’s trying to be funny and spin us around ECP. and if you were there to hear how he talk to us, i think you will give him a big tight slap(just like what I wanted to do). While waiting for the rest near the milo truck, I saw a familiar face. IT’S THAT TAXI UNCLE.. WHAT? he was there to enjoy the free flow milo?!?!

The race started around 8+am. Liping, Shuning and I ran together, and then waited for Jolene to catch up and ran with her together. We started to chat about cosmetics and other stuff.  I finished the run around 930am and then waited for the rest at the finishing line. We had lunch at Parkway Parade and then Benson drove me back. Haha.. the moment I was in his car, I closed my eyes and slept until I reached Admiralty.

I miss ECP(east coast park)! A few years back, I was here with people I love and the people who love me. We had cycling from one end of ECP to the other end. We cycled under the teardrops of the sky, and enjoyed the breeze at east coast park bedok jetty. I MISS YOU ALL!! Gonna cya guys on 12 dec!

Reflections after the race:

Two words flashed in my mind while I was running – “Momentum” and “Perseverance“. The race reminded me of our spiritual run with God.

At the start of the race, all of us was very excited and woohoo for the race. We ran together with the partners beside us. At some point of time, we felt tired, we feel like giving up. But it’s because of the partners beside us who keep cheering for us, running together with us that we continue the race.

How does it relate to our spiritual walk?
At times when we face spiritual dryness, we feel like giving up this race with God, spiritual brothers and sisters are with us, cheering for us. We have our spiritual leaders, shepherds who look after us, watch over our lives. We go through tough and rough times together, running the race together so that no one is lagging behind. Our running pace maybe different, distance covered maybe different but we are in this race together.

Momentum
We have to keep our momentum and continue in the race. When you start to lose it, it’s very hard for you to find back the momentum. Even though you are tired, continue to persevere on. You can run, you can slow jog, you can brisk walk, you can walk, but YOU CANNOT STOP. Since you have started this race, must as well end it at the finishing line right?

How does it relate to our spiritual walk?
There must be a progress in your walk with God and not staying at the same spot where you were previously. DO NOT quit this race with God. You have to grow somehow. Keep the momentum going by attending service, cg, shepherding, QT-ing. Every day, you must be moving ahead and not backwards or on the same spot. Even if it’s a little baby step, it’s also an effort of growing stronger.

Perseverance
10km is really a challenge for me. I think the last time I ran was during the Matric amazing race? And some more, no training before the race. But I persevered on until I saw the finishing line.

How does it relate to our spiritual walk?
There’s no such things like smooth-sailing walk with God. Many things will start to come in your way and prevent you to finish the race. We face persecutions from people- friends, parents etc. Are you persevering enough to complete the race?

To people I care,
I want continue our relationship with U.
I want to share my happiness with U,
and I want to be there with U when you’re down.
Never leave my world as I will not be complete without U.

Few weeks ago, I managed to sit in front of my computer screen and watched the movie Fireproof. A few months back, my brother was encouraging me to watch this movie after knowing that I’ve been watching taiwanese idol drama. He told me to invest my time in  more fruitful stuff.

This is an American Christian drama film which talks about building and strengthening of a marriage. In the 122 minutes show, Captain Caleb’s (a fire fighter) seven-year marriage to his wife Catherine is on the verge of implosion. There was lack of communication and understanding between the couple and Catherine wanted out of the marriage. When Caleb tells his father about the impending divorce, he challenges Caleb to commit to a 40-day test called, “The Love Dare“.

Caleb reluctantly agrees to do the test, but more for the sake of his father than his marriage. Caleb continues with The Love Dare, and eventually makes a life-changing commitment to God. Through the guidance of The Love Dare, and as a result of his new commitment to Christ, Caleb begins to understand what it means to truly love his wife.

So did Caleb manage to win back his wife’s heart? Go watch Fireproof!

I think it is amazing how God transformed Caleb from an insensitive husband, an internet pornography addict to someone who will take up the initiative to do the housework, taking care of his wife when she is sick. It was amazing how God made the impossible possible, and in this case, Caleb’s marriage. Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Although things we are facing now are not in favor of us, do we still believe that God will work things out for us? Do you still believe?

I strongly encourage all of you to watch this. (Click here) Whether you are Christian or not, I believe that this movie will surely inspire you.

And there’s a song that touches me. It is called “While I’m waiting” by John Waller.

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I’m waiting on You, Lord

Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead
bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I’m waiting
I will serve You
While I’m waiting
I will worship
While I’m waiting
I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it’s not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve you while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting on You, Lord

Yes, while we are waiting for God to do His work, while we are waiting for miracles to happen, we should not stop what we are doing. We should continue to serve God, worship God, and continue running in the race. Run the race while waiting on the Lord

Last week marked the official “launch” of Project 2200. It went out smoothly and I think it’s a great plan. But, to continue this momentum is difficult, I need to find places for me to carry out the project.

A week ago, someone reminded me about my attitude of serving. Initially, I was shocked that this person actually told me all these. I think she really plucked out a lot of courage to tell me this since our friendship is not strong. But I really thank God for this person for reminding me.

One example I can cite is last week’s MM serving. It was my first time serving MM. I was both excited and terrified. Excitement in my mind said “woohoo.. finally im serving after a long break”. Terrified said “OMG!! Freak out!!”. I think I was too conscious about doing the thing well (with error free). I kept thinking of the physicals around me and forgot that I’m here to serve God and not people. If Edmund wasnt with me, if I got another partner whom I’m not close with, does it mean that I wont serve to my very best?

Then I recalled bible verses that Ruixia showed us when we were working on Matriculation.

<Colossians 3:22-24> ²²Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. ²³Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, ²⁴since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

Am I serving for God or people? Do I stop serving if the situation is unfavorable to me?

P.S.: My bible is becoming colorful orange, pink, yellow and green highlighted words