Down..
..ya, i know this is the song title for the first song playing at my blog.. but it’s completely different from the mood that I have for the past few days. “Down” is a word I would use to describe my feeling up till the moment I’ve to lead worship.
Yup, today I had caregroup and leading in worship. My third worship leading.
A few days ago, someone dropped me this question asking me if I’m able to forgive what Christopher Lee did from the hit-and-run accident. Without hesitation, I replied “YA! Why not? All of us made mistakes. I also make mistakes.” I’m able to forgive Christopher Lee as God forgives us sinners. This person continue to ask me “So, are you able to forgive XYZ?” I was stunned. I couldnt give this person a direct answer of yes or no. But I know deep down in my heart, I really cant forgive XYZ for the hurt he caused.
Although the incident happened long long time ago, I couldnt forgive what he has done. Or I should say that I tried to run away from it. I will just wait for the thing to come back again and then let it break me again and again. How many times have I broken down in tears because of him?
My unit is embarking on prayer and fasting for 10 days. I’m doing them faithfully and really spent quite some time to chew on the passage. (HAHA…cause for the last PNF, I was reluctant and rebellious to do) Every day, I got to learn a lot of things.
For today’s, it is on Holy Different <Isaiah 6:1-8>. and today for worship, I had to sing “Above All”. When I was preparing for worship the previous night, I was really challenged. God is above all, God is above all my troubles, problems. Why must I fret? (but yet, I couldnt surrender the bitterness I have on this person). God is merciful and forgiving that He can forgive all sinners. Why couldnt I have a heart, a forgiving heart like God’s to forgive him?
Negativity was overwhelmed that I broke down in the train when I was travelling down to Bras Basah. Spent some quiet time with God and tried to prepare my worship. Gosh, I wasnt on form please.. This was my 2nd time not on form when I have to lead praise/worship. Haha..the first time was the first time that I had to lead praise.
Really thank God for placing friends around me like Jesline and Junyao. 
Felt much better after talking to them.(P.S.: Shepherd, you are also one of them.. haha.. haven tell you what happened 
)
Alright, back to my worship experience for today. I think it was great! I went script-less and let the Spirit leads. And it’s the best worship experience i would say. Not only I went script-less and let the Spirit to lead me, I also feel less stressed. Cause for the past 2 times, I’m too self-conscious that I couldnt really enter worship. But today, I succeeded
Current Mood: Slowly adjusting back from 
to
This entry was posted on Thursday, October 22nd, 2009 at 12:10 am and is filed under Between me and Him. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
