Archive for April 2009
On tuesday, finally met up with him. Was so excited since last week. During lesson, he msged that he will be late. So after lesson, Shawn and I went to NP to study. After that, I went to met him at Raffles City Starbucks. Then we went to Marina Square. We were supposed to do something but he got something on last minute. And concidentally, I wasnt on-form too. I shouldnt have the bubble tea in the first place. So in the end, we ended up having dinner and chit chat at Imperial Treasure.
We’re going to meet soon again after his trip and get things started. He said I can decide on the place and time of meetup.. HAHA.. can I choose my house? Easier and convenient for me.. =x but super inconvenient to you.. [P.S.: One is not enough. Let's have ten? Can do it after my exams.]
Back at home, I happened to hear this song.. find it so familiar..
原来你一直在我身边
不管距离多么遥远
就算乌云在眼睛里不散
你的笑容让我灿烂
原来你就在我的身边
不管时间怎么疏远
所以就算我飞上了云端
只要想想你住在我心里 我就心安
蔡依林 – 倒带
Recorded on 30 March 2009
我受够了等待你所谓的安排 说的未来到底多久才来
总是要来不及才知道我可爱 我想依赖而你却都不在
应该开心的地带 你给的全是空白 一个人假日发呆
找不到人陪我看海
我在幸福的门外 却一直都进不来 你累积给的伤害
我是真的很难释怀
终於看开爱回不来 而你总是太晚明白 最後才把话说开
哭著求我留下来 终於看开爱回不来 我们面前太多阻碍
你的手却放不开 宁愿没出息求我别离开
你總是要我乖慢慢計劃將來 我的眼淚卻一直掉下來
过去怎麽交代你该给的信赖 被你亲手缓缓推入悬崖
从我脸上的苍白 看到记忆慢下来
过去甜蜜在倒带 只是感觉已经不在
而我对你的期待 被你一次次摔坏 已经碎成太多块
要怎麽拼凑跟重来
终於看开爱回不来 而你总是太晚明白 最後才把话说开
哭著求我留下来 终於看开爱回不来 我们面前太多阻碍
你的手却放不开 宁愿没出息求我别离开
终於看开爱回不来 而你总是太晚明白 最後才把话说开
哭著求我留下来 终於看开爱回不来 我们面前太多阻碍
你的手却放不开 宁愿没出息求我别离开
Dear God,
This week was a week I felt so troubled for people. My mind was overwhelmed by that five persons and im really very worried for them. God, you know who I’m thinking of. I pray that they are well and I pray for a chance to meet them up and find out how have they been. Right after exams, I will be having a long holiday. I pray that this holiday will be a fruitful one and that I will be able to learn more from You.
Your Child.
Since thursday, I was sick. It all started from flu. I was having econs revision lecture and for the whole day, I kept sneezing, using packets of tissue paper. In the end, Charmaine gave her tissue packets. Thanks man.. My flu became very serious especially that thursday night and friday. But I didnt take any medicine. From flu, I became sicker when sore throat, fever came into the picture.
Knowing that I’m sick, I still went with my family to pay respect to my grandparents on friday. I went because I do not want my mother to nag me that I didnt spend time with the family and keep running out. There were a lot of people there, everyone burning joss stick, burning incense. I know that if I go, my condition will surely worsen.(and yes, it had) But then, I still didnt take medicine..but only on saturday, I decided to eat a few pills.
Saturday, er ge came back from Macho Turbo and asked him to buy Liang Teh for me. Erks.. not nice..but have to drink.
I was msn-ing him and that he’s leaving for a holiday. Looking at his schedule and mine, I really need to GET WELL REAL FAST. There’s limited time I can meet up with him, and I need to be on form before he leaves. My voice must be in tip-top condition man.
Sunday, it’s Easter Sunday. MJ came for the service but I couldnt find her. 
Really want to catch up with her but both of us just too busy with our work. and then, we will have to communicate through facebook. Back at home, I received sms from her that she wore the necklace during service. During dinner, wasnt feel too good, so I went home while the rest of the cg continued their night. Thank you Justin for taking the train with me until Queenstown. He could have just take the mrt from city hall back to Aljunied but he accompanied me. xie xie.
Monday, I saw you-know-who-you-are’s nick “life not liking me. me not like life”. Got to know her struggles and all. Dear, if you are reading this, remember not to cheng everything by yourself okay? Like what you said yesterday(yup yup. we met yesterday), you feel easy sharing with me than to C. So next time, just share anything to me when you are sad okay? I’m really glad that you see me as a friend who can listen to your troubles and give you advice. Can just treat me as trashing bin. I dont mind to be the “centre” of our friendships(you, she, and I). haha.. you and C can always come find me de. Hope you still remember what I told you during our meetup. Continue to pray. Quieten down your heart and listen to what it wants to say. I think I somehow had the same experience with you but did not manage to share to you yesterday. I had a liking on this guy. When I see him, my heart will pump faster and tell myself not to do some stupid things in front of him. The feeling was there for months and i will feel super awkward when he’s with me. He became everywhere in my mind when I’m studying, sleeping, whatever. But then, I decided to stay away from him and asked myself if he is really the one. Was it just a crush? true love or what? After praying, and a few weeks later, I got the answer. I felt the way because I treat him as the another person. It’s something like a “substitute” of something that is missing. But I’m really glad that I’ve overcome this fear le. So dear, YOU CAN DO IT TOO!! OKAY?
Tuesday midnight and I sensed that something was wrong and people around her sensed that too. So, I called her. She’s like a meimei to me, and also a buddy to me. She gave me a feeling that she’s my mei mei and really makes me want to be her jie jie, to take care of this meimei, to show my concern to her. Girl, if you are reading this entry, I’m here for you ok? Like what you mentioned last time, “what are frens for if they were there just to share ur happy moments. frens are here thru thick and thin,through troubles and thru joy. frens are here to lend a listening ear. frens are here to lend u a shoulder to cry on if u feel like crying. when joy is shared,it is doubled. when burden is shared,it is halved.” I made you very very very very worried for me before(haha.. you blogged an entry for me before..and it’s my turn now..) 要加油okay?
Recently, I received annoymous smses from someone. Whoever this is, thank you for your message and encouragement.
I hope you feel better after the phone call and the msn conversation. I’m glad that you shared with me all these things. I felt so worried for you and wished that I can fly down to lend a shoulder. Hope you will remember what I told you.
<Philippians 4:6-7>
6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
<Psalm 73:26>
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
By relying on our strength, it only makes us more miserable as our strength is limited and will deplete. Once they are depleted, we tend to act strong in front of ourselves and people around us as a form of an1 wei4 ourselves that actually I am okay. But in fact, we are cheating ourselves. and all the more you will sink further down to the realm of sorrow. Isn’t it making things more complicated for you? like you have one more thing to fret, which is “I have to cheng when I dont feel like cheng-ing”.
Pray to God and surrender everything to Him. and then let Him do it for you? God “offers strength to the weak” (Isaiah 40:29), especially to those fighting the temptation to give in to depression. “God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).
And you-know-who-you-are, different people have different standards. It’s tired to live according to their their standards as peoples’ standards are always changing. One moment they say you are hardworking, one moment they say you slacked. Peoples’ standard that’s acting on us varies everything. Wouldn’t it be tired to live with an always-changing standard? Things can be always changing. no one knows what will happen next. Only God knows the next step. Why not just trust in Him. He will definitely show you the way.
God has a plan for me. God has a plan for you too. There’s reason why He placed you there.
JIA U and I will be here for you okay?? CYA in 2 days time. 我是爱你的!!!
